Please Don't Be An Irritating Momma!

Ok, so as a mom who is pretty much OBSESSED with her babies, I get it. I am probably guilty of doing some pretty irritating mom things myself. I mean, how could I not, my babies are freaking awesome! I love everything about them from their laughs to their cries. I take hundreds of photos of them every month (seriously, no joke, HUNDREDS), and I would be happy talking about practically nothing else.

With that being said, there are a few things I have found other Moms doing that just drives me crazy! I can’t even be mad at the ladies I know that are guilty of doing these things, it’s not their fault if no one tells them how irritating they are! As moms we all need to stick together, and sometimes that means being willing to tell each other when it’s time to knock it off! Please remember that these are just the things that irk me, we all of our own mommy pet peeves!

 Being Openly Judgmental

     Seriously, this is the worst! Unless you are doing something that is neglectful or endangering your children, who am I to judge? I love breastfeeding and I wish all Moms would breastfeed their babies, but I don’t judge those who don’t… or at least I try not to. Sure I might have a brief moment where I do, but I keep that to myself! I had an experience not that long ago where I was bonding with another mom whose child is about the same age as the twins. In one sentence she is telling me that her and her husband share a room with their kids, and then in the next breath is telling me I put my boys too bed too late (which just so happened to be about 30 minutes after she says she puts her kids to bed). I have to say, I think it is weird the share a room with their kids. She says they have an extra room, so it’s not because of a lack of space, but who cares? Is it really my business? NO…  So of course, I being polite, kept my opinions to myself. I would just want to remind us all that it is natural to judge, even when we don’t want or intend to, but is it really necessary to vocalize every opinion? Probably not. So if you don’t want to come off as a self-righteous Mommy remember, it’s totally ok to hold your tongue!

            Saying “My Baby Is Better Than Your Baby” (or at least implying it!)

So I feel kind of bad, but I learned this annoying habit from the same Mom as the last example… I really do like her most of the time, it’s just when she gets going… So here is what happened. One day I was at work and me, and two other moms were talking about my twins language delay. I had just mentioned how concerned I was when she literally said that she did not realize how advance her child was until she started to hear about my children’s delays.  I could not believe it! I do not know if I have ever been more offended by another mom before. I get it, my boys are behind, and your kid is advance. Good for you! But is that really the best time, place, or WAY to say it? Absolutely not! I am worried enough about my kids, I really don’t need another mom kicking me when I’m down.  And just because my boys are behind on speech does not make them stupid. There are a lot of things that my kids can do that are beyond their age. That is just the nature of all kids, but twins have their own special set of issues. 40% of all identical twins will have speech delays, boys on average can be as much as 6 months or more behind. Does that make your kid smarter than mine? I don’t think so. Just because they do not speak words does not mean they do not communicate. They will have whole conversations in their own language. That to me seems pretty advanced! Which, that is pretty much my point. We all want to think our kids are the very best in the world. It is absolutely natural to compare our children to other children. “My baby is smarter… My baby cuter… My baby is better behaved” we all do it, but again, it’s one thing to THINK it.. its another thing to say it to another Moms face!

       Complaining… ALL the time!

If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times before… I absolutely adore my babies! That does not mean that I do not feel frustrated or overwhelmed at times. I feel that way frequently. Being a Mom is hard work, and there are times where you need to be able to let it out, and have a safe place to talk about those frustrations. It is so important to have someone to talk to so the frustrations do not build up, which is not good for you or your babies.

With that being said, there is a difference between talking with a close friend and complaining about your children and motherhood ALL the time, and to anyone who will listen. I have a friend that sometimes, when I hear her talk about her children I wonder if she even likes them or being a Mom, and that just makes me feel sad. I want to be supportive and helpful, but sometimes it is just hard to listen. Even on my worst, hardest day as a Mom, I love it. I guess it’s just uncomfortable to be around Moms that do not feel the same way. I guess with this, it just depends on who your talking to. If its your best friend, its their job to listen to you wheither its good or bad, a collegue or an aquentence, it may be best to leave some things out…

I just want to end this by saying that I am in no way perfect, and I am SURE that I am guilty of rubbing other moms the wrong way at times and doing the things that drive them bananas. The point I really wanted to make with this post is that we all need to learn that with anything in life, there are times to speak and times it may be best to stay silent. Before speaking every thought that comes into our heads we should stop and think of how that may come out, and how the person we are saying it to is going to feel about what we have to say. If it’s going to be uncomfortable or hurtful, is it really that important to say? Consider the feelings of those around you before you speak. It’s totally natural to have these thoughts, but it’s also ok not to vocalize them… 

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About Amara Franklin

If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times... I LOVE MY LIFE. I have a great husband and the best little baby dudes in the world! I have found that raising twins is not so different than a singleton, just a little bit louder (and a lot more fun!). I look forward to going through this journey together... SUPER MOMS UNITE!