Ok, so as a mom who is pretty much OBSESSED with her babies,
I get it. I am probably guilty of doing some pretty irritating mom things
myself. I mean, how could I not, my babies are freaking awesome! I love
everything about them from their laughs to their cries. I take hundreds of
photos of them every month (seriously, no joke, HUNDREDS), and I would be happy
talking about practically nothing else.
With that being said, there are a few things I have found
other Moms doing that just drives me crazy! I can’t even be mad at the ladies I
know that are guilty of doing these things, it’s not their fault if no one
tells them how irritating they are! As moms we all need to stick together, and
sometimes that means being willing to tell each other when it’s time to knock
it off! Please remember that these are just the things that irk me, we all of
our own mommy pet peeves!
Being Openly Judgmental
Seriously, this is the worst! Unless you are doing something that is neglectful or endangering your children, who am I to judge? I love breastfeeding and I wish all Moms would breastfeed their babies, but I don’t judge those who don’t… or at least I try not to. Sure I might have a brief moment where I do, but I keep that to myself! I had an experience not that long ago where I was bonding with another mom whose child is about the same age as the twins. In one sentence she is telling me that her and her husband share a room with their kids, and then in the next breath is telling me I put my boys too bed too late (which just so happened to be about 30 minutes after she says she puts her kids to bed). I have to say, I think it is weird the share a room with their kids. She says they have an extra room, so it’s not because of a lack of space, but who cares? Is it really my business? NO… So of course, I being polite, kept my opinions to myself. I would just want to remind us all that it is natural to judge, even when we don’t want or intend to, but is it really necessary to vocalize every opinion? Probably not. So if you don’t want to come off as a self-righteous Mommy remember, it’s totally ok to hold your tongue!
Saying “My Baby Is Better Than Your Baby” (or at least implying it!)
So I feel
kind of bad, but I learned this annoying habit from the same Mom as the last
example… I really do like her most of the time, it’s just when she gets going…
So here is what happened. One day I was at work and me, and two other moms were
talking about my twins language delay. I had just mentioned how concerned I was
when she literally said that she did not realize how advance her child was
until she started to hear about my children’s delays. I could not believe it! I do not know if I
have ever been more offended by another mom before. I get it, my boys are
behind, and your kid is advance. Good for you! But is that really the best
time, place, or WAY to say it? Absolutely not! I am worried enough about my
kids, I really don’t need another mom kicking me when I’m down. And just because my boys are behind on speech
does not make them stupid. There are a lot of things that my kids can do that
are beyond their age. That is just the nature of all kids, but twins have their
own special set of issues. 40% of all identical twins will have speech delays,
boys on average can be as much as 6 months or more behind. Does that make your
kid smarter than mine? I don’t think so. Just because they do not speak words
does not mean they do not communicate. They will have whole conversations in
their own language. That to me seems pretty advanced! Which, that is pretty
much my point. We all want to think our kids are the very best in the world. It
is absolutely natural to compare our children to other children. “My baby is
smarter… My baby cuter… My baby is better behaved” we all do it, but again, it’s
one thing to THINK it.. its another thing to say it to another Moms face!
Complaining… ALL the time!
If I have said it once, I have said
it a thousand times before… I absolutely adore my babies! That does not mean that
I do not feel frustrated or overwhelmed at times. I feel that way frequently.
Being a Mom is hard work, and there are times where you need to be able to let
it out, and have a safe place to talk about those frustrations. It is so
important to have someone to talk to so the frustrations do not build up, which
is not good for you or your babies.
With that being said, there is a difference
between talking with a close friend and complaining about your children and
motherhood ALL the time, and to anyone who will listen. I have a friend that
sometimes, when I hear her talk about her children I wonder if she even likes
them or being a Mom, and that just makes me feel sad. I want to be supportive
and helpful, but sometimes it is just hard to listen. Even on my worst, hardest
day as a Mom, I love it. I guess it’s just uncomfortable to be around Moms that
do not feel the same way. I guess with this, it just depends on who your
talking to. If its your best friend, its their job to listen to you wheither
its good or bad, a collegue or an aquentence, it may be best to leave some
things out…
Nice post Amara. Love the way you right.
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate the compliment. I love everything you do on your blog too! XOXO
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