Excuses Are Like Bum-Bums.....




Ok... so I don't have an excuse. I feel like every "Shedding The Baby Weight" goes the same way. In one post I am all excited and ready to get to loosing that baby weight.... then the next post is full of all the reasons why I have not. The truth is, it is a lot harder to find the time to work out than I thought. I get up at 5 and go to bed around 1 or 2 in the morning and my days are non stop in between. Plus I am broke. Im sorry to say it but the sad fact is that diet/healthy food is a lot more money than crappy food. In fact, my Husband and I are often reaching for the $5 hot and ready pizza from Little Ceaser's because its cheap, already made, and is good for 2 meals.  I know its crap and trust me, both my figure and my digestion are not happy with me most of the time, but my food budget goes primarily to the boys.

On top of eating crap, I am also guilty of not eating. I never actually eat yesterday, other than a few little snacks throughout the day. I was not trying to starve myself, I was just really really busy and when I did have the time to make myself something, I just did not have the energy and just wanted to go to sleep. These are not good habits, especially as a breastfeeding mom. My boys get their nutrition from the food they eat, and my breastfeeding is pretty much just for giving antibodies and for bonding with them.
  
I guess I am just feeling really down on myself today. My twins are almost 2 years old and I have not lost much of the weight. It does not help what happened to me last night. I had to take out the trash and it was late so I went out, well lets just say not exactly looking my best. I had on a ratty tank top, comfy long shorts, and no bra...  It was extreamly hot, I was in the middle of cleaning, so yeah... Why get dolled up to take out the freaking trash? Of course as soon as I walked out the door I saw a group walking towards me. There was two young girls and a young guy, maybe about 18 or 19 years old. When they saw me, all overweight, short, and in my house clothes they all proceeded to make fun of me, thinking I could not hear them. I was humiliated. I dont know why I am surprised. I am pretty sure this is the same girl my Husband saw the other night run out of her apartment in just a bra and thong... I just wanted to go up to them and warn them that this is what they will become in another 10 years. I know I should not let it get to me, but how? I was already feeling down on myself, and that just pushed me over the edge. But at the same time, maybe it was a kick in the pants. I know I need to be more motivated, to workout, to eat right. I just guess I get so frustrated that its hard to get that motivation. It is a visous cycle. Being this overweight makes me depressed and makes me want to eat, but eating crap makes me not loose the weight so I feel depressed....

But it is not like it is a complete loss. I did go on a low carb diet for about a month, I did really good with it and lost almost 10 pounds. I have gained back about 4, but hey, that still leaves me 6 pounds thinner than the last update...

So one thing I have wanted to do to help keep me accountable is to continuously check in here on the blog. I have been getting more into live streaming, so for now the plan is going to be to live stream my updates on Periscope, then edit the video, make it pretty and post it here for all of you that missed the live show. I may even record some other content off the live stream so its still fresh content for those of you that do catch it live.... I guess we will see.

The other plan I have for keeping myself accountable is to set goals. I already have the next few check ins scheduled and I want to set realistic, attainable goals to shoot for over the next month. Its one thing to say I want to loose 70 pounds, but what does that really look like? Unless I break that down to smaller more attainable goals I will never get there. Right now I am 207. My goal for the next check in (Wednesday, May 18th) will be to weigh 200 pounds. That is 7 pounds, and a good starting point. All I know is I don't want to look like this anymore and I want to be healthy for my family. I want a long life with my Husband and my Baby Dudes (And I want to show those mean girls!!)
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About Amara Franklin

If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times... I LOVE MY LIFE. I have a great husband and the best little baby dudes in the world! I have found that raising twins is not so different than a singleton, just a little bit louder (and a lot more fun!). I look forward to going through this journey together... SUPER MOMS UNITE!

2 comments:

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    1. Thank you so much for your support as kind words!! It is definitely a struggle! I am doing more updates on my new personal blog http://amarafranklin.com and on my YouTube channel! I would love to see you there😀

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